Give me a task, or let me think of one myself and I can make most anything happen. I love to backwards plan, finding a goal and then taking the necessary steps to reach the goal. I’m not afraid of failing because failing is just an opportunity to improve. I can manifest most anything I put my mind to.
It’s stopping and enjoying my achievements that gives me trouble.
A couple of years ago I was working as a vice principal of a small private school. They hired me to head their general studies and to help them become accredited. I had over twenty years of public school knowledge, and this was a fun new challenge for me. The accreditation happened sooner than planned, and we scored quite well. It took about two years of consistent work, and when it was done I took no time to enjoy the accomplishment. I just looked for the next goal, the next task. I knew I was doing it, but I didn’t know how to do it differently.
Throughout my life I have asked the universe for things, like a specific job, to buy or sell a house for a certain amount, and generally it all works pretty much as planned. I am grateful! And I am realizing that while I don’t want to stop setting goals and working towards them, I also want to learn to stop working towards anything and just be here now.
Who knew that this would be the hardest task I ever tackled!
I think this is so important at this point in my life. As I look at the last third or so of my life, I want to make it mindful. My healing program is helping me with this.
Each day I ask myself what I am searching for that day, and with my teachers’ help I have chosen to search for being in the moment.
This is a search that will last me for a long while. I am not great at it, as I plan and set goals as a way of controlling my life. Waiting to plan, sitting in this moment, not doing, just being — these are challenging for me. But I need them. I need to rest my motor, give my brain some time off. I will not only burn out if I don’t, but I will miss out. I will not fully taste the delights that are in my world if I chew everything so quickly as I move to the next course.
And I want to taste, I want to savor.
Tara McDaniel, poet, healer, artist and teacher, is a NIASZIIH healer practicing in Portland, Oregon (at Shanti Om Massage & Ayurveda Services). Learn more here. Meet her on her Facebook page and learn more about her healing. Also, look for more from her here at Me-At-Last!